Hidden Sky, Muted Heart

Hi,

Sometimes I look out the window at the city, and it reminds me so much of watching the skyline through a thick, gray haze. Think about how it looks on a clear night, everything is sharp, bright, and wide open for the world to see. That is pretty much what life feels like when our energy is high, our minds are clear, and we feel totally seen and understood by everyone around us.

But then, out of nowhere, things change on us. Just like heavy smog rolling in and wrapping completely around tall buildings, tough and heavy days happen to all of us. The buildings are still there, standing tall and strong, but they get totally hidden behind a thick gray veil. The colors blur together, the little details fade away, and the whole atmosphere suddenly feels quiet, heavy, and muted. 

When life gets overwhelming with stress and busy days, we often end up feeling just like that hazy skyline. On the outside, we keep moving, going to work, and showing up for everyone who needs us. We stay strong and put on a brave face. But on the inside, our voices can feel muffled, and our bright edges get worn down by daily tiredness, worry, or quiet struggles, making it feel like nobody really notices what we are carrying underneath.

If you happen to be feeling a bit hidden or muted today, I just want to remind you that it is totally okay to slow down and catch your breath. You don't have to be full of energy and shining brightly every single minute of the day, because taking a break is just a normal, necessary part of being human. It's actually good to embrace these quiet periods instead of fighting them. Just because your personal battery is running low right now doesn't mean you're losing your spark. Sometimes, quiet seasons simply give us the safe space we need to recharge in peace.

Most importantly, keep in mind that the haze never lasts forever. The clear, bright sky hasn't gone anywhere. It is just waiting patiently behind the clouds until the air clears up again. Your true inner light is safe and sound inside you, resting quietly until the right moment comes for it to shine. So be kind to yourself, take things one simple step at a time, and let the heavy air clear out at your own natural pace. 💕

From Surabaya Memories to Campus Days

Hi,

Finally I'm back reporting. The past few days had been a whirlwind. Hang on, I say that all the time, don't I? It seems like there is never a dull day in my life lately. Or to be more precise, I cannot fit dull into my daily schedule because I really don't have time for that. Secretly, I kind of wish I did though. Haha.😆

Anyway, today I want to talk about something fun. I'm not sure if I have mentioned this here before, but last year I went to Surabaya for a mobility program with Universitas Brawijaya, Indonesia. I had the chance to deliver a guest lecture there, and I chose a topic that is very close to my heart: Solitons.

November 2025. Almost a year ago. Time really flies, doesn't it?

Without really checking who the audience was beforehand, I just dove right in and shared what I think makes the world of wave mathematics so fascinating. Turns out, sitting right there in the crowd was a professor whose research is closely linked to that exact field. Not long after I got back home, I received an invitation to collaborate with him. Of course, I accepted the offer with open arms.

We are working on a few different projects together now, and one of them involves student supervision. He proposed sending a research student over to work with me for a short term, and she arrived last week. I finally got the chance to meet her in person. My main goal right away was simple: I want her to go back to her university and tell everyone only good things about USM. So naturally, that standard has to start with me, her local research supervisor.

First meeting. No serious research talk allowed on day one. 

We just kept it relaxed so she could get comfortable and feel at home.

During my visit to their campus, the hospitality shown by the faculty members was out of this world. We felt so welcome, and every single moment spent there was worthwhile. 

Such a beautiful campus. 

Green and grey are the main colors I see everywhere, and it is so pleasant on the eyes.

Because of that, I feel it is only right to match that same level of warmth and care for her here, if not more. Aside from our shared research work, I am looking forward to showing her around and helping her settle in nicely.

Okay, I guess that is just a little glimpse into one of the many things adding color to my calendar lately. To be honest, I really need a little breather. I will be traveling to KL for some family matters this Friday. Wish me a safe journey so I can come back stronger for the coming weeks.

Have a pleasant weekend, everyone. Bye!💕

Teacher, Mom, Survivor

Hi,

I just wrapped up my lectures for the week, and teaching a brand-new course two days in a row is no joke. Seriously, it feels like an endless cycle of prepping from a blank page, stepping into the lecture hall, watching four hours vanish into thin air, and then immediately starting the whole loop over again. My brain is basically running on fumes and leftover motivation at this point.

To make things extra interesting, Monday kicked off with a bang. My girl was sitting for her first big exam, so naturally, every nerve in my body was tuned right into her wavelength.

As a teacher, my whole world revolves around helping students succeed. I pour my heart and soul into it because I genuinely want them to thrive. But imagine trying to apply that exact same teacher-mode intensity to your own kids. Oh man, it is a whole different beast.

I constantly feel like I'm walking a tightrope. On one hand, I don’t want to be that pushy parent who makes them feel like life is just one giant checklist of expectations. On the other hand, I really want to nurture a genuine, natural love for learning in them. I want them to realize that books and studying aren't just about surviving exams, but they're training wheels for that massive, unpredictable thing we call life.

It’s a constant balancing act. Being a mother who just wants them to grow up happy and kind, versus a teacher who wants to see them shine in every possible color, academic or otherwise. How they'll turn out in the end is totally out of my hands, of course. All I can do at the end of the day is take a deep breath and tell myself, "Hey, you tried your best."

Thankfully, Auni's exam wrapped up on Wednesday, which meant I could finally swing the spotlight back onto my own mountain of to-dos. Meanwhile, Adam's turn isn't until 2029, but let's be real, I'm already nervous. Raising a boy and a girl requires completely different playbooks.

Post-exam celebration! Just two kids and my life is already a circus. 

Massive respect to those with bigger families!

And here I am now, trying to decompress after an absolute whirlwind of a week. I'm hiding out in a nice, shady spot somewhere outside my office. After my lecture ended, my brain felt so stiff and fried that a little campus walk felt mandatory just to get the gears turning normally again. There is something strangely therapeutic about a quiet stroll under the trees when your week has been entirely too loud.

Even a coffee shop knows how to pull your heartstrings. Sneaky, huh? 😂

Of course, the universe couldn't just let me rest. I have another workshop coming up next week, which means my weekend plans officially involve staring at slides and lesson plans. Classic.

The eLearn series with Amirah^2 has pretty much become a branding around campus. 😅

So that's what’s been keeping me on my toes. I hope your week treated you well. Have a fantastic, restful weekend with your loved ones! Bye! 💕

Perfectly Unbalanced Life

Hi,

It’s past midnight. The house is quiet, which means my brain has officially decided it’s time to host a loud, fully interactive panel discussion on everything that went wrong over the past week. Classic midnight brain dump hour.

To be fair, I spent the whole weekend grounded at home. My daughter is currently sitting for her very first primary school exam, the infamous Ujian Penilaian Matriks. Since her batch is the guinea pig, I mean, pioneering batch for this exam, the collective anxiety among Malaysian moms right now could power a small city. Naturally, I stayed glued to home base to support her, which mostly involved offering quiet encouragement and hiding my own twitchy eye.

As for my own life? Well, it’s been running on its usual schedule, peppered with a few dramatic plot twists that nobody asked for.

First exhibit: My phone has grown a lightsaber.

Yes, a vertical column of dead pixels has permanently etched itself onto my screen like a glowing Jedi weapon 😆. It was annoying at first, but manageable until the exact moment I needed to read an important number sitting directly behind the glowing beam of death. Cue the universe telling me, “Girl, it’s been five years. Let it go.” I could technically just replace the screen, but where is the fun in that? We are officially upgrading. Rest in peace, old faithful.

Speaking of tech betrayals, my Microsoft Surface keyboard decided to throw a theatrical tantrum right in the middle of my recent workshop.

Picture this: I’m ten minutes into introducing the session to a room full of people. I’m in my zone, explaining eLearn stuff, and suddenly poof! The keyboard goes completely dark. Zero response. Total rebellion. Mid-sentence, I had to frantically swap machines and spend the rest of the session navigating a completely unfamiliar device while sweating bullets. Did I panic outwardly? Absolutely not. Did I smile like a swan while my feet paddled furiously underwater? You bet. Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly, but my heart rate definitely hit a personal best.

Over the weekend, I dragged my broken keyboard to Harvey Norman to see if it could be saved. Nope. Just a dead keyboard, nothing else. So, of course, I had to buy a replacement immediately. Ehem, fun fact: I’m actually typing this post on my brand-new keyboard right now. The click-clack feels suspiciously satisfying.

Thanks Harvey Norman! I gave them a call, reserved a set, and drove over to pick it up. 

Easy peasy!💕

And because the universe loves a triple scoop of chaos, guess what happened on the very first day of lectures last week?

I scratched my car.

Huwaaaa. 😭

My heart practically shattered right then and there.

Anyone who knows me knows I am painfully obsessive about my car. I am the kind of driver who gets actual chest pains if a parking job is even slightly crooked. If a stray leaf looks like it might scratch the paint, I will avoid it. So imagine the sheer, soul-crushing sound of metal scraping against a pillar. I wanted to cry. But class was starting in ten minutes, so I had to slap on my best professional face, walk into a two-hour lecture, and pretend my soul hadn't just left my body.

Every time I look at that scratch now, a tiny piece of me dies inside. But hey, it happened. I can’t un-scratch it.

So, what’s the takeaway from all this tech failure, parental exam stress, and parking lot tragedies?

It’s a gentle reminder that no one lives a perfectly balanced, flawless life. Social media will make you think everyone else is out here glowing, sipping matcha, and gliding through life like royalty. But reality? Reality is us dealing with dying phones, rebelling keyboards, scraped bumpers, and midnight existential crises all at once.

We all have our downtimes. Sometimes they even come in a neat little trilogy.

Right now, I’ve got a new phone, a fresh keyboard, and a car with a brand-new "character mark." As for the scratch? I've decided my new coping mechanism is just waving hello to it every time I walk up to the driver's door.

Here’s hoping my quota of "exciting colors" for the month is officially full. I don't need any more palettes, thank you very much! 😘

Vibe-Checked Math on Day One

Hi,

It was the first day of a brand new semester. I walked into the lecture hall right at 11:00 AM, only to watch my students shuffle in looking like zombies. Their eyes practically screamed, 'This is a killer course. I just want to survive and walk away with a C-minus."

And I get it. 

This is the exact same batch of students who survived my Ordinary Differential Equations (ODE) class. They thought they had seen it all. Derivatives flying everywhere, integrals haunting their dreams. But today? Today we were stepping into a whole new dimension, which is the Partial Differential Equations (PDEs).

Observing the way they walked into the hall, I knew I had to make them understand that PDEs are a completely different beast. So, for the first lecture, I decided to throw out the syllabus, ditch the lecture notes entirely, and commit a crime against traditional academia: I made them move. A lot.😂

Activity 1: The 12 PM Pizza

What is the ultimate universal language at noon? Calculus? Physics?

No. It is pizza.

Before talking about single variables or boring definitions, I forced.. I mean, gently persuaded my hungry students to talk about a piping-hot pizza fresh out of the oven. At 12 noon, nothing else is more appealing.

Why pizza? Because heat distribution is the classic gateway drug to understanding PDEs! 

We talked about how heat spreads across the crust. It is not just changing over time t. It is changing across different spots on the pizza (x and y). Boom. Just like that, multivariable chaos replaced single-variable comfort.

Looking at this, the only variable I care about right now is extra cheese. 😋

Activity 2: The Human Guitar String

Next up, I requested 10 volunteers to lend their hands and dignity to science. I asked them to stand up and pretend to be a vibrating guitar string. They weren't just students anymore, they were the living, breathing graph of a function.

Space (x): We looked at how different parts of the string moved left and right.

Time (t): We watched how the whole shape rippled and shifted as time ticked on.

Imagine ten university students wiggling in sync, trying to represent mathematical waves. It looked less like a classroom and more interpretative dance class, but guess what? It clicked.

By the time class ended, the vibe in the room had completely flipped. The "I'm going to fail" panic had melted into actual laughter and curiosity. PDEs sound terrifying, but at their core, they describe the real world. How waves ripple, how heat travels, and how fluid flows. 

I reminded them that they don't need a heavy textbook to grasp that. They just need a little imagination, some imaginary pizza, and a willingness to look ridiculous with their classmates. 😁

If my students learned anything today, I hope it’s this. Math isn't just a monster to survive. Sometimes, it's a guitar string, sometimes it's pizza, and most of the time, it's way more fun than you think.

 

A lot of mathematics is involved in generating this beautifully. 

We get to carefully play around with the function U=U(x,y,t).

Until then, wish me luck for the next 14 weeks of lectures, I totally need it! See you next time. Bye! 💕