Focus

Dear diary,

How is it going for you? I'm not in the mood of doing anything now. Yeah, I'm at my office. Working out on Camassa-Holm equation as I need to find both numerical and analytical solutions for this equations. It is damn hard you gotta know that!! I've been working on the same sort of problem for almost two weeks. But here I am, still empty handed. Luckily Tim will not be around until next week. Otherwise I would feel like killing myself out (way of exaggerating of course, you know i'm not gonna do that..:p).

The ideas are already there but I do not know on how to execute them. I don't even know on where to start. Should I solve analytically using the Modulation Equations first or is it possible for me to start with the 2nd Order Implicit Finite Difference Method for the numerical solutions?? Bluerghhhh!!!! I really had no idea on which one comes first.

I know that I could solve all the solutions separately cause in the end I just need to make sure that both solutions come in good agreement. But the thing is, whenever I started solving the analytical solution, I will automatically think on the the numerical methods and vice-versa. Gosh!! I should have focused on doing one thing at a time despite trying to do both things that I knew is definitely far beyond my will. Focus please Amirah dear!!

p/s: Okay, dah puas membebel untuk diri sendiri. Back to work Amirah. Owh, one more thing, shut the internet connection off pleaseeeeee sayang...:p

Malay Wedding: The Dowry

Hye there..

I come back with something heavily thought in mind rite now.. Let me start with telling you one good news. My elder brother is getting engaged in less than 2 weeks from now. And too bad that I'm going to miss the very first event in the family because I'm here, all abroad. Shame on me. But what else can I do apart from watching the momentous event from here. Video conference maybe??hehehe..When it comes to engagement, both families have agreed on certain things regarding the wedding that is planned to happen somewhere around February 2011. And this time I'm not gonna miss it!! I'm going to be there no matter what.

It has been a common practice these days for children to get married after they graduate. For a guy like my brother, he is expected to have a stable career (Alhamdulillah, he is now doing a lot of money more than everyone), a car, a house and of course some money for his wedding including the dowry. The dowry is something that a groom is obliged to give to his wife on their wedding day, usually, but not always, in monetary form. Talking about this, he agreed to give the amount of RM***** to his future wife. Lucky her. I know my brother is more than able to give her that amount. The thing is, I'm sure that people will start talking about it especially the ones in our own family. But who cares? As long as he affords to do so.

But!!Yes, there's a but over here. I hate it when people start comparing the amount of the dowry to the education level. Let say if the bride is a diploma holder, she NEEDS to get AT LEAST RM8k. If she graduated as a degree holder, she MUST get AT LEAST RM10k. And the amount increases gradually until the bride reaches the highest education level. Yeah, I know it is not compulsary but it is traditionally applied to the Malays nowadays.

An example of dowry for the bride
(photo courtesy from www.sleeplessinkl.com)

I'm not going to bother about this matter if it has nothing to do with me. Unfortunately, I do have to care since people start talking about MY dowry while I haven't even yet completed my 1st year since I started my PhD. Those people said, "Tu nak pi belajaq tinggi2 tu sebab nak hantaran tinggi la kan". Some people also said, "Sapa la nak masuk meminang kalau kat depan nama ada title Dr Falsafah". It hurts me the most when some of them said, "Nanti bila dah belajar tinggi mesti nak cari yang sama taraf ja. Yang dok ada tu kena tinggal la". It was really hurt hearing people talked about something like that behind your back.. Sighss..=(

Sometime I asked myself, is it a right decision to continue my study up to this level before I get married? One part of me says yes. But another part of me says no. And I keep thinking hard about this. I know that I should not bother about what people say. Do whatever the best and what I think the right for me. The rest, let Allah swt handles. But I still wish that I could just keep those people mouths shut one day!!ehehe..=)

p/s: We always emphasize on what other people may think, may say about us. However, do we think of what Allah will say about us? Think about it dear Amirah..=))

Back on the track

Dear diary,

It has been sooo long after I last wrote something in here. More than a month ago rite. I really had no time to do so. Trust me. The very last time that I scribbled something to share is when I was on my way back for a short holiday in Malaysia. Now only I realized that it had been almost 2 weeks since I came back from home. That is how the time passes very quickly. I never seem to have enough. But the time still flies.

I miss everybody and everything at home. Really. Each and every one of them. Yeah, I need to level up my courage and strength to complete my studies as quickly as possible so that I could go back on time. It took me some times to get the momentum back to the one before my long break but still, I need to work hard on it. Cheer for me okay sweetie..=))

I do miss you, you got to know that. It was a bit strange everytime I sat in front of my computer without having time to even sneak a prompt look on you. That is how busy I was at home. Apparently, I had my super great time with families and friends. Eventhough the holiday was just a short one, I love each and every moment I spent with them. Can't wait to see them again soon..=)

Latest family picture

p/s: You know what, I didn't cry at all when I was at the airport waving everybody good bye. Not even a drop of tears. Strange. But I'm proud of that. Thanks sweetheart for all your words. You really give me strengths.