Sunday, January 30, 2011

Happy Birthday Abang!

Selamat pagi!!

Okay, hari ni memang pecah rekod bangun awal gila. I think I did not sleep only until 3am last night. I tossed and turned, tossed and turned, but in the end, I ended up looking at the brown teddy on my right, or staring at the white wall on my left. Lepas tu bangun pukul 6am solat Subuh, terus tak boleh nak tido balik dah sampai sekarang. Arghhh..

Fikir punya fikir, rupa rupanya penyakit tu datang balik. Haaa?? Penyakit?? Sounds bad kan?? Haha. Don't worry, home-sickness won't give any physical harm. But it mentally does. Sekarang ni perasaan jeles dekat semua orang yang dapat makan Gulai Kepala Ikan dengan Sambal Cencaru Belah Belakang yang bapak masak. My father's signature dishes. Kesukaan semua.

Anyway, today is my big brother's 27th birthday. So, hari ni abang organize majlis kesyukuran sempena masuk rumah baru dan kebetulan ulang tahun kelahiran sekali. Kira double celebration lah kan. The thing is, untuk majlis makan tengahari ni, abang import chef nun jauh dari utara. Bapak lah, sapa lagi. Menu pulak, seperti yang I tulis kat atas tadi. Urghh, sungguh tak aci tau!

Patut lah I tak boleh tidoq malam tadi. Rupanya-rupanya dok teringat gulai dengan sambai bapak masak. Siap boleh terbayang lagi rasa dengan bau kat tangan lepas makan nasik dengan lauk tu. Lazat sungguh! Hey, stop imagining Amirah!! Meleleh ayaq liuq dah ni tau dak. Semua orang sila lah makan puas-puas okeh. Jangan sampai I kidnap mak dengan bapak datang duduk sini 3 bulan baru tau. Muahahaha.

Okay lah, sekarang ucapan to my abang:

Adik doakan semoga abang akan terus dipanjangkan umur dan dimurahkan rezeki. You are not just getting older, but wiser to be exact. Hope you will have more strength to share, more lessons to teach, more experiences to learn from, more good times to cherish and more love to spread. I wish you to have a great time not only to yourself, but also with your near and dear ones.

"So, happy birthday and happiness always, dear brother!!"



My brother is a little piece of childhood experience that can't ever be lost.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The day he turns 26

Dear diary,

Today marks Encik Faizal Amri's 26th birthday. Eh, rasa macam baru je sambut birthday I yang ke 25 hari tu, hari ni Mr Bf pulak dah tambah lagi satu angka. How time flies. Bercinta jarak jauh ni memang agak mencabar dari segala segi. But Alhamdulillah, we went through everything without so many difficulties. Thank you Allah for everything. He knows more than all of us.

If you ask me what are the reasons for me to love him, I say nothing. I'm very certain that I fall for him for no reason. Really.

So sayang, if you want to know the MAIN reason, I think I could only say this:




WHY???




With this, I would like to wish you




So darling, here's my heart. Please take care..=))





From me, with lots of love,

amrimira
::22010211::

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Ketawa penawar hati panas

Assalamualaikum,


Pagi tadi I keluar rumah dalam pukul 10.45am. Biasalah lepas dah makan kenyang kenyang baru I gerak pegi office. Plan nak catch bas pukul 10.55am. Lepas 10menet tunggu kat bawah matahari yang terik gila tu, bas pun datang. Yahuuu!! Hati pun berbunga-bunga seronok nampak bas. Dari jauh dah nampak, lady driver. Hmm, tak penah pulak I naik bas yang dia bawak sebelum ni.


Then bila bas dah betol betol benti depan I, okay lah, kasi chance orang turun dulu. Sistem kat sini memang tak boleh nak serbu naik ikut suka hati macam komuter kat KL tu je. Sesuka hati je orang serbu masuk depan muka kau. Kat sini kena berdiri kat tepi sampai semua orang dah habis turun baru lah kita boleh menapak naik. Jadi lah I penumpang yang berhemah kat negara orang ni.



Lepas semua orang dah turun, you know what happened?? The driver just shut the door right in front of my face and left me behind. I siap dah ketuk pintu tu pun dia buat bodoh je. Heyy!!! Marah ni tau tak. Apa kau ingat aku ni penyambut tetamu bas kau kat bawah matahari ni ke ha??? Panasnye hati ni!!
That old lady bus driver really pissed me off!! Grrrr!!!



Lepas tu I dah fikir nak jalan kaki, tapi panas gila hari ni. Tak sanggup pulak nak menapak ke uni serah diri jadi dayang senandung. Kang sebab geram punya pasal segala pokok rumah orang sepanjang jalan I cabut. Haihhh. So, I decided to stay for the next bus to come. Ape lagi, I pun bukak la payung hikmat I yang warna PURPLE sambil tarik muka pat blas.



Tiba tiba datang satu mamat Aussie ni tunggu bas jugak. Budak budak awal 20-an lagi rasanya ni. Mat Salleh ni kan terlebih matang selalu nampak tua. Gaya taknak kalah. Surfer's built macam Ted Montgomery dalam Beverly Hills. Kira awek tengok comfirm cair lah konon. Me? No! Not my taste. Okay lah, lepas tunggu dalam 5menet, bas pun datang. Kasi chance la budak ni naik dulu, I naik kemudian.



Lepas jalan belakang dia baru I nampak dia bawak beg Thomas & Friends. Kahkahkahkah. Tau tak beg apa tu? Alaaaa, kartun kepala kereta api yang comel tu. Hadoii la. Dah la siap galas rapat ke badan macam budak budak darjah 1 first time pegi sekolah tu.hahahaha. Nak aje gelak kuat kuat dalam bas tu tapi takut menganggu keamanan pulak. Lantak kau la budak. Rasa macho agaknye bila bawak beg Thomas si kepala keretapi tu. hahahaha. *Sambung gelak lagi sepanjang jalan*

Boleh bayang tak lelaki macho macam ni.. [photo courtesy]


Bawak beg sekolah yang lebih kurang macam ni. Rare kan?? [photo courtesy]

Hmm, bila I fikir balik, mungkin ni cara Allah nak balance kan perasaan manusia. Mula mula ada perkara yang buat kita betol betol marah. Dalam masa yang sama, ada perkara yang boleh buat kita ketawa. Kalau la takde budak pakai beg Thomas tadi tu mungkin seharian I akan memaki hamun makcik drebar yang tinggalkan I tu. Tak pasal pasal kumpul dosa free.huhu. Now you see how fair our life is right.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Rindu itu anugerah

Assalamualaikum,


It's a very sunny Sunday, and here I am, staring at my computer screen at this empty office, hoping for miracles to happen. Anyway, I dont want to talk much about works. Just keep doing it with what ever energy I have, someday things are going to be alright. I believe.


Beberapa hari yang lepas, sementara tengah tunggu masuk waktu Isyak, I isi masa yang terluang tu dengan baca Al-Quran. (Salah satu resolusi tahun 2011, nak cuba baca Al-Quran dengan terjemahan sebanyak mungkin). Alhamdulillah, I dapat rasakan yang hati lebih tenang setiap kali lepas baca cerita cerita yang tertulis di dalam Al-Quran.


Masuk minggu ke-2 bulan Januari tahun 2011, I sampai ke Surah Ali-Imran. Sedap nama surah tu. And I always love the name Imran. Lembut bunyinya kan? Okay, balik kepada cerita, masa sampai di ayat yang ke-35, tiba tiba rasa sebak yang teramat sangat. I miss my parents. Walaupun baru 2 bulan lepas I balik jumpa mak dan bapak, tapi kali ni rasa rindu yang I sendiri tak dapat describe macam mana. I teruskan bacaan yang tersekat sekat akibat menangis sampai habis satu mukasurat sambil dalam hati doa yang mak dengan bapak sihat di rumah.


Tamat satu mukasurat, masa untuk baca terjemahan. Masa I sampai ke terjemahan ayat yang buat I sebak tadi, sekali lagi I menangis bila baca maksud di sebalik ayat tersebut.

(Ingatlah) ketika isteri Imran berkata:” Tuhanku! Sesungguhnya aku nazarkan kepadaMu anak yang ada dalam kandunganku sebagai seorang yang bebas (dari segala urusan dunia untuk berkhidmat kepadaMu semata-mata), maka terimalah nazarku; sesungguhnya Engkaulah Yang Maha Mendengar, lagi Maha Mengetahui.” [35]

Maka apabila ia melahirkannya, berkatalah ia: “Wahai Tuhanku! Sesungguhnya aku telah melahirkan seorang anak perempuan (sedang yang aku harap-harapkan ialah anak lelaki), – dan Allah memang mengetahui akan apa yang dilahirkannya itu – dan memanglah tidak sama anak lelaki dengan anak perempuan; dan bahawasanya aku telah menamakannya Maryam, dan aku melindungi dia dengan peliharaanMu, demikian juga zuriat keturunannya, dari godaan syaitan yang kena rejam (yang dikutuk dan disingkirkan)”.[36]



Rupanya-rupanya ayat ni mengisahkan tentang bagaimana harapan ibu dan bapa ketika menantikan kelahiran anak yang di dalam kandungan. Semoga sentiasa di dalam pemeliharaan Allah swt dan dijauhkan dari godaan syaitan. Mungkin jugak ini la doa mak dengan bapak terhadap I. And this might be the reason for the tears at the very beginning. I miss them, really.

Ayahanda & Bonda

p/s: Al-Quran dan terjemahan warna biru yang I bawak ke sini tu adalah hadiah dari bapak sebelum I datang ke Australia dulu. Bapak cakap bapak beli guna duit bulanan yang I bagi. Terima kasih bapak. Semoga setiap kalimah yang I baca tu akan dapat keberkatan dari Allah swt, dan semoga keberkatan tu turut sampai kepada bapak dan mak di rumah.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Mari amalkan

Assalamualaikum my dear diary,

I have been extremely exhausted with heavy workloads very lately. Terlalu banyak benda yang nak kena buat dengan kudrat yang tak seberapa ni. The numerical simulation need to keep on running, and at the same time I can't leave the analytical solution just like that. Bila dah focus solutions, rasa bersalah pulak kalau tak terus membaca untuk literature review. So, curi curi masa baca sebaris dua ayat dalam journal walaupun kadang kadang tak paham langsung!! Bless me Ya Allah~~


Bila berada dalam keadaan tertekan macam ni, tiba tiba teringat amalan yang pernah Maktam turunkan sebelum memulakan perjalanan sebagai pelajar PhD dulu. Dekatkan diri dengan Allah Amirah. Sesungguhnya Dia maha mengetahui. It is completely true!


Di sini ada beberapa amalan yang boleh diterapkan dalam kehidupan seharian, terutamanya pelajar macam I ni lah. Semua ni Maktam amalkan sepanjang beliau buat PhD dulu, alhamdulillah Allah mudahkan segala urusan beliau dari mula sehingga akhir. Ruginya rasa sebab I tak betol betol ikut apa yang Maktam turunkan.. Kalau tak dapat banyak, sikit pun jadi la. Just a matter of sharing.

1) Mula sebelum masuk waktu Maghrib (tak kisah habis bila-24jam)

**KEDUA-DUA AMALAN INI ADALAH SUPAYA DOA MUDAH DIMAKBULKAN**

a) Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Lailahaillallah, Allahuakbar - (100x)
b) Allahumma Salliala Muhammad, Waala Ali Muhammad - (313x)


2) Selepas Maghrib
**UNTUK KEYAKINAN DIRI DAN BERSERAH KEPADA ALLAH**

c) 2 ayat terakhir Surah At-Taubah - (33x)


Maksudnya:
Sesungguhnya telah datang kepada kamu seorang Rasul dari golongan kamu sendiri (iaitu Nabi Muhammad Shallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam), yang menjadi sangat berat kepadanya sebarang kesusahan yang ditanggung oleh kamu, (dan) ia pula menumpahkan perasaan belas serta kasih sayangnya kepada orang-orang yang beriman. Kemudian jika mereka berpaling ingkar, maka katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): "Cukuplah bagiku Allah (yang menolong dan memeliharaku), tiada Tuhan (yang berhak disembah) melainkan Dia, kepada-Nya aku berserah diri, dan Dia lah yang mempunyai 'Arasy yang besar."


**UNTUK KURNIAAN REZEKI**

d) Surah At-Talaq, Ayat 2&3 (Ayat Seribu Dinar) - (33x)

Maksudnya:
…dan sesiapa yang bertakwa kepada Allah (dengan mengerjakan suruhanNya dan meninggalkan laranganNya), nescaya Allah akan mengadakan baginya jalan keluar (dari segala perkara yang menyusahkannya)[2]. Serta memberinya rezeki dari jalan yang tidak terlintas di hatinya dan (Ingatlah), sesiapa berserah diri bulat-bulat kepada Allah, maka Allah cukuplah baginya (untuk menolong dan menyelamatkannya). Sesungguhnya Allah tetap melakukan segala perkara yang dikehendakiNya. Allah telahpun menentukan kadar dan masa bagi berlakunya tiap-tiap sesuatu. [3]


3) Sepanjang Masa
**DIULANG-ULANG BACA SENTIASA SEPANJANG HARI SEPERTI SEBELUM TIDUR, BANGUN TIDUR, SEBELUM BACA BUKU, BILA PENING, CONFUSE, ETC..**

e) Surah Al-Anbiyaa, Ayat 79


Maksudnya:
Maka Kami beri Nabi Sulaiman memahami hukum yang lebih tepat bagi masalah itu dan masing-masing (dari mereka berdua) Kami berikan hikmat kebijaksanaan dan ilmu (yang banyak): dan Kami mudahkan gunung-ganang dan unggas memuji Kami bersama-sama dengan Nabi Daud dan adalah Kami berkuasa melakukan semuanya itu.


4) Jadikan (a),(b),(c),(d) dan (e) sebgai amalan harian.

HIGHLIGHT: Jangan tinggalkan zikir (a) dan (b)


5) Niat segala amalan adalah kerana Allah SWT

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Adam in da house

Hellooo!!

Ingat lagi dengan Adam? That adorable little boy that I used to babysit more than one year ago? Well, he was here again last night. Best best best!! Rasa terhibur sangat bila dapat spend masa dengan Adam semalam, walaupun tak sampai 3jam pun.

Memang Adam ni dilahirkan senang nak jaga agaknya. Dia sampai je I terus pasang kartun Wall-E. My all time favourite cartoon. Konon nak kasi Adam tengok la. Padahal I yang nak tengok.hehe.. Ada la dalam setengah jam jugak dia duduk diam mengadap menda alah kartun tu sambil kunyah biskut chipsmore. After that, he started to move all around the house. Sambil menyanyi dalam bahasa yang tak dapat dikenal pasti.

Then, it's time for dinner! I suap dia makan nasik lauk kurma ayam. Semangat betol dia makan. Tapi aduhh mencabarnya nak kejar. Satu suap satu pusingan! Memang tak reti letih agaknya ini budak tembam main pusing pusing sambil makan.. -_-" Tapi takpe, puas hati bila tengok licin sepinggan dia makan..=))

video
You ni memang charming lah Adam.

Kat bawah ni video Adam bercakap in his own language. Aaaaaaaa, rasa macam nak picit picit budak ni. Selamat la anak orang.hehe.

video

Lepas dah puas main kejar-kejar, I dengan Adam tersandar kat sofa sambung tengok Wall-E sambil tunggu Kak Fish nak ambik Adam balik. Tapi sebelum balik tu, Adam sempat kasi I hadiah lagi. Nak tau ape? His poo poo. hahaha. Alahai Adam.. Nasib baik la I ade pengalaman jage adik kecik. So, takde la kekok sangat..:p

He and his style, memang macho lah!!

All in all, he is such a charming little boy that I really really love to spend my time with. Kalau ada jual baby macam ni dekat Woolies comfirm dah lama I borong. Tapi malangnye tidak. Nak dapat baby macam Adam, kena ada parents macam Kak Fish dengan Abg Azeem. hehe..:p

Friday, January 7, 2011

Obsession

I yakin semua orang dah banyak kali dengar lagu ni dekat radio atau TV. Dah lama pun lagu ni duduk carta No 1 dalam iTunes I. Tapi kali ni bila jumpa videoclip live dari studio, omg, rasa macam tak nak tutup iPod ni. I keep playing this song over and over again. Never get bored. He is such a talented singer and musician I could say. Enjoy this live performance from Mophonic Studio, NY and here is the lyrics for you to sing a long.

Presenting: Bruno Mars - Grenade


video


Easy come, Easy go
That's just how you live oh
Take, take, take it all
But you never give

Should have known
You was trouble
From the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open
Why were they open?

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash,
Tossed it in the trash you did
To give me all your love
Is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah)
Throw my head on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, )
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, )
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, ) Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for you baby
But you won't do the same

Black, black, black and blue
Beat me till I'm numb
Tell the devil I said "hey" when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You'll smile in my face then
Rip the brakes out my car

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes you did
To give me all your love
Is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, )
Throw my head on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, )
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, )
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, ) Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for you baby
But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire, ooh
You' d watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me you're a liar
Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...

But darling I'll still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my head on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, )
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, )
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, ) Oh, oh

I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for you baby
But you won't do the same.


p/s: Siapa boleh nyanyi sambil main gitar lagu ni macam dia? Memang tabik spring lah!!=))

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I Love You, Mom

Dear diary,

I received an email from my mum a couple of days ago. The contents are basically about how a mother's love is considered as instinctual, unconditional, and forever. And I would like to share one part of the email that gives me a really good significant in my life. Check this out..

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby,
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.
* * *
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct,
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
* * *
Somebody said being a mother is boring,
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
* * *
Somebody said if you're a 'good' mother, your child will 'turn out good',
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.
* * *
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother,
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.
* * *
Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first,
Somebody doesn't have two children.
* * *
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery,
Somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten,
or
on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'
* * *
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married,
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heart strings.
* * *
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home,
Somebody never had grandchildren.
* * *
Somebody said your mother knows you love her,
so you don't need to tell her...
Somebody definitely isn't a mother.


So, keep telling your mother that you love her while you still can. I believe they are the best words that she would love to hear.


Bila peluk mak rasa macam hilang semua masalah dunia.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Allah knows best

Assalamualaikum,


I worked a little harder today, focusing on the solution of the Carnahan Starling formula. I have been working on it since like ages ago and eventually, the solutions are still way too far from what I wanted.


I kept on working on it to the extent that I really can't stand it anymore. I suddenly went out from the room, without concentrating on where my legs brought me, I ended up crying at the pond somewhere around uni. I cried, cried, and cried. For all my never ending difficulties.


It's really frustrating when you put all your efforts in doing something, but the results turned out to be the other way around. People say if you put your energy into something, you can actually make it happen. Somehow it didn't. Why? The question kept on lingered.

After about ten minutes of staring at nothing, then I heard my heart says, turn to Allah. Yes, I need to turn to Him. Now I feel so down, hopeless, lost in finding my way out of this terrible situation, and today is just like an awful day for me, then I realized that nobody would ever understand, except for Him.


So I went back to my office, performed my Zuhur prayer, then I sat down and think about the definition of success. It means a refusal to be beaten by failure. Then what brings about progress? A determination not to stand still. And for my case, success might not there yet, but at least, the progress is on it's way.

I need to bear in mind that this is all about a journey of learning on how to do a research. You got to learn A LOT before you can actually reach it's end. So whenever I feel that everything is going wrong, it is just Allah's way, to make my spirit strong. InsyaAllah.