The Butterfly Effect

Hi,

We often think of advanced mathematics as something hidden away in quiet university rooms, buried under long, scary equations. But the big ideas behind our research rarely start on a chalkboard. More often than not, they begin with the simple, beautiful patterns we see every day in nature.

In our latest research paper, we looked at a powerful mathematical formula through a very unique lens, the simple, perfect design of a butterfly's wing.

When you look at a butterfly resting on a flower, your eyes are naturally drawn to its symmetry. If you draw an imaginary line right down the center of its body, the left side is a perfect mirror image of the right. This is called bilateral symmetry.

But if you look closer, microscopically closer, the symmetry becomes mind-blowing.

The mesmerizing patterns on a butterfly’s wing aren't just painted on. They are made of thousands of tiny, microscopic scales overlapping like shingles on a roof. For the butterfly to look the way it does, its DNA has to execute a flawless mathematical command while it is developing inside the chrysalis. It has to count, map, and place millions of colorful pigments in exact, mirrored coordinates on opposite sides of its body. If one tiny cluster of cells shifts out of place, the symmetry breaks.

Nature uses this geometric precision for survival. The symmetrical eyespots on a butterfly's wings are designed to perfectly mimic the face of a larger predator, tricking birds into staying away. In short, the butterfly uses a strict, underlying geometric blueprint to create order out of millions of random, developing cells.

The White Admiral.

Deciphering the mathematical blueprint behind her beauty.

In mathematics, we look for this exact same kind of structural balance, but instead of mapping colorful wings, we look for balance inside complex differential equations that describe nature's wildest movements.

In our paper, we focused on a mathematical model known as the extended Estévez–Mansfield–Clarkson (eEMC) equation. This high-order partial differential equation is a master tool for describing how nonlinear waves and optical solitons (stable wave packets) travel through complex, messy mediums without breaking apart.

Left on its own, this equation is incredibly difficult to handle. Because it deals with space, time, and changing wave amplitudes simultaneously, trying to calculate a solution directly is like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.

That is where the logic of the butterfly wing comes to the rescue.

To crack this monster equation open, we used a specific mathematical technique called Lie Symmetry Analysis.

Think of it as the ultimate algebraic x-ray vision. Just like recognizing the center line of a butterfly allows you to instantly understand its entire layout by looking at just one wing, finding a hidden 'mirror line' (or invariant transformation) inside a chaotic equation allows its complexity to collapse.

Here is how the method works in three steps:

1. Finding the Infinitesimals: We first calculate the continuous transformations such as scaling, translations in time, or shifts in space that leave the form of the eEMC equation completely unchanged.

2. Reducing the Dimensions: Once these mathematical symmetries are locked in, we use them as structural shortcuts. This allows us to perform a similarity reduction, transforming a terrifying partial differential equation (PDE) down into a much simpler ordinary differential equation (ODE).

3. Unlocking Exact Solutions: With the equation streamlined, we can solve it analytically to uncover beautiful, exact wave solutions such as kink-type waves and solitary wave packets.

The next time you see a butterfly flutter past, remember that its beauty isn't random. It is walking proof that nature loves order, balance, and geometry. Underneath all the messy, unpredictable chaos of the universe, nature is keeping a secret. It hides a beautiful, balanced blueprint of symmetry and by using Lie symmetries, we can decode that blueprint to better understand the world we live in.

Want to dive into the mathematical heavy lifting, formulas, and exact steps behind the magic? Check out our full paper HERE.

The Decision Dilemma

Hi,

We’ve all seen those beautifully aesthetic, highlighted quotes on Instagram or Pinterest. Usually, I scroll past them while snacking, but this one by Jim Rohn hit me right in the face:

Simple, right? Brilliant. Ground-breaking

Except, if you are anything like me, your brain’s immediate response to this is: "Okay, but what kind of tree would I be? If I move, what if the new soil is bad? What if I get hit by a rogue lawnmower? Maybe I should just stay put and sprout some leaves."

I have a confession to make: I am chronically, painfully bad at making decisions.

I am the person who takes ten minutes to pick a flavour of chips at the grocery store, only to panic at the checkout line and ended with buying plain salted. Over and over again. Now multiply that anxiety by a hundred when it comes to important life decisions like career paths, moving cities, or setting personal boundaries.

When a big choice comes up, my brain essentially turns into a Windows 95 computer trying to run a modern video game. It just freezes, makes a loud whirring noise, and hopes the problem goes away. Because making decisions is scary, I often fall into a very comfortable, very dangerous trap, sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of literally anything or anyone else. It's just easier to let other things dictate my life! 

For example: The "Sure, I'll do it" Work Trap: Agreeing to take on extra projects that I have zero time for, completely wrecking my weekend, just because I didn't want the other person to feel stressed. (Spoiler alert: Now I'm the stressed one, crying over an Excel sheet at 12 midnight).

We do this because we want to be helpful, nice, and accommodating. But here’s the truth I’m realizing today in which constantly setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm just leaves you covered in ash. Jim Rohn is right. We aren’t rooted to the ground. If a situation, a job, or a habit is draining your happiness and taking you for granted, you are allowed to lift up your roots and walk away.

Making decisions is terrifying because there is always a chance we might make the wrong one. But staying stuck in a place that makes you miserable just because you're afraid to move? That's a guaranteed way to wilt.

If you're currently standing in a spot that doesn't feel right, consider this your gentle, humorous sign to take one step forward. Worse case scenario? You walk into a wall, laugh at yourself, and turn a different way. At least you're moving! 😅

Fueling the Dream

Hi,

And just like that, I am popping in with another quick update before I inevitably slide out of radar again. (Hey, at least I’m consistent, right? 😉)

If you know me, you know that weekends mean one thing, family time to the absolute max. This past weekend was a whirlwind of household chores, which included the dreaded task of restocking the house. Now, let’s be real, I do not do grocery shopping often. The mere thought of fighting crowds for a carton of milk makes me want to stay in bed. But when I do finally go? It is a massive, military-style operation. I buy in bulk like the apocalypse is coming. The good news? I am officially set and don’t need to step foot in a grocery store for the next eight to ten weeks. Success! 🥳

When we aren't traveling out of town, my kids have a weekend routine. They essentially demand to be taken to Maktok and Tokwan’s house. It is their absolute favourite place on earth, run by their favourite people (who, let’s face it, completely spoil them).

While hanging out there, I got a wonderful surprise. I had the chance to catch up with my aunt, whom I hadn't seen since 2017! I honestly didn't realize it had been nine years since her last trip back to Malaysia. Time flies when you're busy growing up and managing life.

Pictures like this only happen once every few years.

She is currently on a one-month break and decided to come back to Penang to stay at my mom’s place for a few days. Sitting down and talking with her did something dangerous to my mind. It kicked my wanderlust into overdrive. Hearing about life on the other side of the world made my desire to move abroad shoot through the roof.

In fact, I am already plotting our next big family adventure. I’m dreaming of taking the kids to visit their Tokngah Ainnah and Grandpa Mike all the way in Wisconsin for a magical winter holiday! Fun fact: My aunt is 68 years old and still thriving in her career as a software engineer. Why? Simply because she absolutely loves what she does.

[Mental Note]
Current Status: Plotting a trip to Wisconsin. 
Timeline: In a few years when the kids are a bit bigger and can actually survive an 
ultra-long-haul flight without a total meltdown.

Looking at my aunt and hearing her stories just gave me more reason to chase that dream. There is a whole wide world out there waiting to be explored. I don't know exactly when or how, but mark my words: one day, I will realize that dream of living abroad.

Until then, I’ll be right here, surviving the daily grind and enjoying my eight weeks of freedom from the grocery store. 😆

When Life Demands a Reset

Hi,

It’s past midnight, and the rain is absolutely pouring outside my window. There is something about a heavy midnight rain that makes you want to sit back and reflect. And honestly? I owe you an update. I’ve been completely off the radar for the last two weeks. Where did I disappear to? Nowhere, really. Life just happened all at once. Between a mountain of extra activities and the official start of my classes, I have been on my toes from morning till night.

A couple of days ago, things hit a breaking point. It was one of those deeply challenging days where I had to juggle a packed schedule while carrying a very heavy heart. Do you know what the hardest part about days like that is? It’s the performance.

In front of your students and peers, you have to appear completely professional, positive, and full of "I can do this!" energy. But in reality? All you actually want to do is sit alone in a pitch-black room, do absolutely nothing, think absolutely nothing, and just let all the hidden emotions out. But life doesn’t always give you a timeout when you want one. Of course I didn’t get that alone time. I had to keep moving.

After surviving that incredibly tough day, I knew I needed a reset the next morning. So, I settled the morning errands early and headed to my absolute favourite food spot for some comfort food. I got there at 7:00 AM sharp, right as they were flipping over the "Open" sign. I sat down, ate, and by 7:20 AM, I was done. It was a short 20 minutes, but it was exactly what I needed. Heavy heart or not, life must go on. I realized I had to quickly pick a direction and force myself back onto the right track.

Ghee thosai with extra chutney. Always my ultimate comfort food.

Later that afternoon, as the stress started creeping back, I reached for an energy bar to keep myself going. Honestly, I wanted to eat more than the three of them. When we are stressed, it is so easy to turn to emotional eating and overindulge. But I stopped myself. I ate exactly what I needed and no more.

Nothing beats my all-time favourite, Whittaker's Almond Gold. 

And as for Ferrero Rocher? Who would ever turn those down? 😋

Self-control is everything in moments like this. If I had followed my emotional cravings, I would have tripled the amount in one go. But I chose not to betray my body just because my mind was having a hard time. Keeping that small promise to myself felt like a victory.

Did a quick breakfast and a snack solve all the problems worrying my heart? Not even close.

But it did make me feel good about my choices. At the end of the day, we can't always control the bad things that happen to us, or the sudden waves of stress that come with a busy life. We can only control how we handle them.

It is completely okay to feel overwhelmed. Cry it out if you need to. But once the tears are dry, get back up, grab your comfort food, and keep moving forward. 💕

The Place My Heart Keeps Visiting

Hi,

Have you ever looked at a suitcase and seriously considered packing a one-way ticket inside? No return flight, no "see you soon," just a venture into the unknown?

I’ll admit it, I have. I have a very specific place in mind, a land so dear to me that it feels like a second home. I’ve visited many times, and every single time I’m there, I find myself manifesting a permanent life in one of its quiet, leafy suburbs.

There’s a certain magic to the lifestyle there. I can perfectly picture my life in a weatherboard house with a small garden, waking up to that crisp, cool morning air that makes you want to wrap your hands around a hot mug. I miss the routine of walking down to a local cafe, the kind tucked away in a hidden lane or on a charming corner, where the coffee is world-class and the brunch culture is basically a local must-do.

But it’s not just the quiet corners I love. I often think about the contrast of the city itself. Standing back and watching the modern skyline illuminating the cold night, a glowing forest of glass and steel reflecting against the dark water. There is something so grounding about that view. It feels both electric and peaceful all at once.

A place that manages to be both vibrant and incredibly calm at the same time

The pace of life there is just right. It’s a place where you can spend a morning browsing through a bookstore or wandering a weekend market, then take a short drive to see the rugged coastline or find yourself under the shade of massive, ancient trees in a public park. I have so many beautiful memories into those streets, from the sound of the trams humming in the distance to the way the afternoon light hits the Victorian-style architecture.

Every time I’m back in the daily grind, that one-way ticket starts calling my name. I truly believe that by constantly manifesting it and keeping that vision alive, one day it won't just be a place I visit, but the place where I truly belong. Maybe, just maybe, the universe is listening, and I’ll finally get to call those glowing lights and leafy streets my permanent home. 💖

A Mathable Story

Hi,

Hello May! You’re a bit impatient, aren’t you? Just when I’m about to enjoy my final days of April, you came in with a BAMM! and we’re already into the second day. Since the first was Labour Day, I spent the whole public holiday at home. You know how it is when you have a schedule that is tight on a daily basis, the second the weekend hits, you just want to be lazy. Well, at least for me!

I made sure to hit my goals, eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, cooking good food for the kids, and prepping my weekly cooking supplies. I even tackled the hard laundry, like beddings and towels. That’s also the time I do spot checks on the kids' school bags. where I always find the most hilarious treasures. Parents, you know the vibe right? Honestly, kids can make your heart stop in so many ways. 😂

Anyway, we are currently obsessed with a board game my daughter introduced me to called Mathable. I’ve played Scrabble my whole life and still love it, but a few months ago when she brought this out, wow, I'm hooked. It’s basically Scrabble’s brainy cousin. It’s just as fun as playing with words, but this time you’re building with numbers. Instead of trying to fit the letter "Z" into a word, you’re using basic math tiles to build equations on the board. 

Our latest family favorite. ➕➖✖️➗

It’s a fantastic family activity, and you don’t need any sophisticated mathematical formulas to win. As long as you know the basics like addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division, you’re good to go. It turns out that playing with numbers is just as addictive as playing with letters. Don't be surprised, though, sometimes the kids are actually better at the quick mental math! We adults tend to focus on the complicated stuff, looking for the most complex equations, while the kids swoop in with a simple 5+2=7 and steal the victory right from under our noses.

The new favorite head-cracking session

Speaking of which, I’ve definitely missed a few winning opportunities to my seven-year-old son. It can get very intense, but when it does, we slow down and just enjoy the bonding time instead. Trust me, after a head-cracking session like that, the kids will have the longest uninterrupted sleep at night. Sadly, I’m not included in that deal! 

So, that’s a little look at my long weekend. I hope yours was great too! See you again next time. Bye! 💕

Pause and Celebrate

Hi,

I looked at my calendar and realized something horrifying: it’s almost the end of the month, and I’ve only managed to squeeze out four posts. Four! "Girl, what happened to you?" I asked myself. Are you that busy?

Well, the answer is a resounding yes. Life lately has been one giant juggling act. I’ve been seriously considering cloning myself. Just three or four versions of Amirah would do. And maybe ordering a few pairs of extra hands on Shopee just to keep up with the pace. If anyone knows how to manifest an extra 24 hours in a day, please, do share your secret.

But today, I’m pausing the chaos. Why? Because it’s Mom’s birthday!🎈

They made me who I am today, and nothing could ever replace them.

My wonderful mother just turned 66 today. Honestly, she’s still as sharp and strong as she was 20 years ago. Okay, maybe not exactly as she was 20 years ago. Well, we’re all aging, it’s the human condition, but she remains the smartest lady I’ve known since I was small. If I can even be half as sharp and witty as she is when I hit 66, I’ll consider my life a massive success. 💪

I really miss pouring my thoughts out here. It’s my therapeutic brain dump, and I’ve felt the absence of it. But life has been a lot, and sometimes you just have to give yourself grace. One step at a time, right? I’m hoping to sneak in a few more words before the month wraps up. But if I don't see you here again before May, consider this my I’m still here, just busy being a super-human update. 🦸‍♀️

Happy Birthday again, Mom. Thank you for being the original smartest woman I know. I love you! 💕

Catching Up with Yesterday

Hi,

It’s finally the weekend! A glorious, lazy, "I have absolutely no plans" kind of weekend. The best kind.

I just got back from a work trip to Putrajaya, where I visited the Ministry of Higher Education (KPT) for the first time in my 10 years of service. It’s funny because I remember visiting the old office back in 2009 while dealing with my PhD scholarship. Talk about a blast from the past!

I spent yesterday wandering around another building there. Why? For work, obviously. I had to present something, but I’m going to spare you the boring details because that's not the best part of the story.

The best part? I accidentally ran into two long-lost friends!

First, there was Aida, my friend from our MRSM Beseri days (who’s now holding it down at UTP). 

From our teenage years to being moms of actual teenagers now. We’ve aged gracefully. Mostly! Haha

Then there was Azira, my buddy from my University of Wollongong era (now working at USIM).

From being high-energy single ladies living abroad to women in our 40s, we’ve certainly aged gracefully. Or, at the very least, we’ve aged! Haha

We all ended up there for the same work-related mission, but the reunion was the real highlight. Naturally, we’ve all evolved a bit over the years. The second they saw me, it was immediate: "Eii, Mira dah lain!".

Yeah, yeah, I know. And no, don’t tell me how, because I truly don't want to know! Also, I even tell a friendly PSA to my dear friends, if they mention our old embarrassing school stories one more time, I might just walk away and pretend not knowing them.😂

Despite the teasing, it was so much fun catching up. Even though we’re all in completely different academic fields, the struggle of our work life is strangely universal.

So, that’s why I’ve been a bit quiet lately. Sometimes life gets so full of things to say that I end up saying absolutely nothing at all. But I'm back, it’s the weekend, and I’m ready to embrace the art of doing nothing. 

Unplanned Peace

Hi everyone!

Wow, it’s been a while. I’m finally back to use this space for what it’s best for: a total brain drain. Tonight is just a random ramble. I haven't done one of these in forever, right? Sometimes the thoughts just pile up until you have to pour them out somewhere.

It’s past midnight. The kids are finally tucked in and asleep, but I am wide awake. Why? Because I accidentally recharged a bit too hard. I napped from the moment I stepped through the door after work until 8:00 PM. My brain basically pulled the emergency brake and said, "I’m done thinking for today, see you later!" It wasn't exactly planned, but I think my mind just needed to go offline for a while.

I woke up still feeling a bit meh, but duty called. Mom gotta do what a mom gotta do! I got back into the groove, prepared some dinner, and spent some time catching up with the kids. Then, out of nowhere, my sister calls. She’s bringing my parents over because my dad decided he wanted to see us. It’s funny how they always seem to have a built-in sensor for when I’m feeling gloomy and need a mood boost.

Fun fact of the day: It’s my parents' 43rd anniversary! My sister’s office actually has a very cool policy. They give employees a Wedding Anniversary Holiday. Since she’s not married, she’s still allowed to use it to celebrate our parents. I think that’s so thoughtful. She spent the whole day taking them around to celebrate, and they ended their date by stopping by my place.

We didn't do anything fancy, just sat around with coffee and biscuits since everyone was already full. It was a short visit, but those hugs? They were like magic. They lifted all the heavy, personal stuff I’d been carrying around all day. I feel so much lighter now, partly from the long nap, but mostly from the love.

It makes me wonder about that Parent Superpower. No matter how old we get, they just know when we need them most. They might not be perfect to the rest of the world, but they are exactly what we need. I really hope I can be that for my kids one day. They are still so small right now, and the future feels a bit blurry, but I know I want to be the best version of myself for them. To give them the best, I have to live my best, right?

The kids are my top priority, no matter what.

My boy is a handful, but I wouldn't change him for the world.

Anyway, that’s my midnight brain-dump. I feel much more relieved now. Now, I just have to figure out how to actually fall asleep! I’ve got a big day tomorrow, an important school briefing for my girl, so it's off to the island we go.

See you soon! Bye!

April State of Mind

Hello, April! 

Wait, it’s the 2nd already? How did that happen? 😱

Work kicked off on a surprisingly calm note. Since I’m tag-teaming a course with a colleague this semester, my lecture hall is currently replaced by my office desk. No class for me just yet in the next couple of weeks, which means more quality time for my research students!

Right now, it’s crucial mode for two of my PhD students. We are neck-deep in drafts and requirements as they prep for submission. Let’s just say my to-read pile is currently taller than me. 

I also realized I haven’t introduced you to my latest batch of Final Year Project (FYP) students! It’s another all-girls squad this year. They’ve been quietly grinding since last year, but today was our first official back-to-the-grind physical meeting. It was fun seeing them each time because I can always feel their nerves the moment they walk in, but there’s nothing more rewarding than seeing that tension melt into a visible sigh of relief by the time they leave my office.

This picture was taken on our last meeting before the break. A little souvenir theory for my FYP squad. These gifts are small, but the sentiment behind them is a constant. They’re always in my thoughts, even when I’m off-campus.

Caught this moment earlier today during our first post-break meeting. Look at those smiles. They just scored the limited edition Raya packets. They know these are exclusive releases, so they’re wearing those grins with pride!😁

Watching these young, smart minds tackle three different mathematical puzzles is honestly the best part of the job. Even when the learning curves look like a messy graph, seeing them help each other out is pure satisfaction. I’m just here rooting for them to shine by graduation!🎓

On a personal note, I’m packing my bags! I’ll be traveling tomorrow, and I’m really hoping a change of scenery will help reset the equations circling in my head lately.

Have a fantastic weekend, everyone! Bye for now!👋

The Friend Who Never Left

Hi,

It’s Raya Day 6, and I’m back in Penang, though I’m starting to think I accidentally landed on the surface of the sun. 🥵I honestly thought Melaka was roasting, but Penang is on a whole different level! The heat is so intense that staying indoors is my only survival plan.

Despite the weather, my heart felt a lot cooler last night because I had a very special visitor, my old friend Anne. We all have that one friend from our university days who feels like a character written by a novelist who was being far too generous. Anne is exactly that person. Brilliant, beautiful, and from a wealthy family, yet somehow remains the most humble and down-to-earth soul you’ll ever meet. We were classmates and next-door neighbors in the hostel throughout our Foundation, Undergraduate, and Master’s studies.

Since '03: More than two decades of friendship

We were the ultimate package deal of the department until our PhDs finally sent us to opposite corners of the globe. I went to Australia, and she went to the UK. Believe it or not, the last time we actually stood in the same room was way back in 2012, when we attended a conference together in Loughborough and I stayed over at her house. Since then, we’ve mostly kept in touch through yearly birthday wishes (we are both end-of-year babies) and occasional professional chats about our research.

Once upon a younger version of ourselves

After 14 years of being digital friends, Anne mentioned she was in Penang and wanted to stop by. I welcomed her into my home with wide open arms. Even though it was a short meetup, it felt like no time had passed at all. You know those friends you don’t have to talk to every day, but the second you see them, you slide right back into your old rhythm without skipping a beat? Anne is one of them. We laughed and caught up on a decade of life as if we hadn't missed a single day.

It really goes to show that true friendship isn't about how often you talk, but how little things change when you finally do. It took fourteen years and a record-breaking heatwave to bring us back together, but it was worth every second of the wait. Now, if only our research collaborations could move as fast as our talking! 😆

A Syawal Success Story: Sibling Edition

Hi,

They say getting all of us together is as rare as a solar eclipse. With six siblings in total, four sisters and two brothers, aligning our schedules is a mission in itself! But this year, the stars aligned, and the full crew reunited at our eldest brother’s house in Bangi. We didn't just show up for the selfies, we showed up with a plan to make this the most legendary Raya ever for our parents.

Never a dull moment with my favorite people!

Forget a simple home-cooked meal, we turned our brother's kitchen into a full-blown food festival! Our head chef sister was a woman possessed. The star of the show was a massive spread of Kuey Teow Th’ng. We’re talking 20kg of silky noodles served with a broth that tasted like a warm hug.

But it was the toppings that really stole the show, tender shredded chicken, juicy shrimp, and perfectly prepared squid. And the secret weapon? The garlic oil. My sister actually cooked up fresh batches of that fragrant, golden garlic oil four separate times throughout the day to make sure every single bowl was perfect. Of course, we still had the Raya classics like ketupat and rendang on the side, because you can’t have Syawal without the essentials!

Then there was my station. I was the official beverage manager, and I wasn't playing around. I had a giant 10-liter pot bubbling on the stove, brewing that perfect, creamy teh tarik. It was served piping hot, and let me tell you, it disappeared faster than I could brew it! I ended up preparing that massive 10-liter pot twice, making it a grand total of 20 liters of tea! There’s nothing like a hot, sweet cup of tea to keep the Raya energy going.

While the tea was flowing and the noodles were steaming, our organizing queen was the glue holding us together, making sure the condiments were topped up and the tables were cleared. Our youngest sister was the designated paparazzi, documenting every laugh, every bite and every heartfelt hug for the family archives.

The line-up: Chef, Barista, Organizer, and Content Creator. 

We came, we cooked, we conquered! 💪✨

And we can’t forget the brothers! Our eldest brother and his wife was the ultimate host, opening his home in Bangi to the whole chaotic crew, while our other brother was right there in the mix, helping us keep the momentum going by being on standby for last-minute shopping trips every time we realized we were running low on something. Seeing all six of us working together like a well-oiled machine (with plenty of teasing in between) was the real highlight.

The best part of the day wasn't the 20kg of noodles or the 20 liters of tea, it was the look on our parents' faces. Seeing their six children all under one roof, laughing and cooperating to make them happy, was the best Raya gift we could give. Our brother’s house was buzzing with the kind of noisy, happy energy that only a big family can create.

We might not get to do this every day, but this first day of Syawal reminded me that no matter how much time passes, we’ll always have each other's backs, and we definitely know how to feed a small army. 😎

The Pre-Raya Record

Hi,

Look at me, two posts in two nights! I’ve been pretty quiet for the last few weeks because, let’s be real, life has been a whirlwind of work and mom duties. But tonight, I finally found a quiet moment to breathe and write down a few things worth remembering.

The kids are officially in dreamland, and I’m just sitting here in the silence, watching them sleep and waiting for my late-night moreh snacks to finally digest. It’s that peaceful mom-mode where the house is finally still.

This Ramadhan, I’ve actually been surprisingly disciplined. My Sahur? Two single dates and enough water to fill a small bathtub. That’s it! No heavy rice or oily dishes before the sun comes up.

And hey, it actually worked! I’ve managed to drop 5kg of what I like to call unnecessary storage (okay, it’s just extra body fat). I’m feeling much lighter, more energetic, and honestly, pretty proud of myself for sticking to such a simple routine.

Now, the real challenge starts. I really want to keep this progress going after Raya, but there’s one big problem, my massive crush on Raya cookies. I have zero self-control when I’m sitting in front of a jar of Semperit or Tart Nanas. I’m trying to tell myself to be strict this year because I don’t want all that hard work to go down the drain, but let’s be honest, me versus a jar of cookies is a very unfair fight!

In other news, I’ve officially finished my Raya glow-up routine. Hair is done, nails are fresh, and I'm feeling human again! This year was extra special because I brought my daughter, Auni, along for the ride. In the past, she was a bit too small for the whole salon and spa experience, but now that she’s 10, she’s the perfect girly-time buddy. We sat there getting pampered together, and I really hope these little mother-daughter dates are something she’ll look back on and treasure forever. It's the start of a new tradition!

The kids are currently tuckered out after having the absolute best night of their lives. They spent hours playing with bunga api and mercun with their cousins, aunts, and uncles.

Watching these two cousins together is everything. They are truly living their best lives this Raya.

There’s just something about playing in the kampung that hits differently than the city. In a residential area, you have to be so careful, but here, they can just run around and be kids. Seeing them so happy, covered in a little bit of smoke and a lot of joy, really made my heart feel full.

I think that’s all for now. I’m not sure when I’ll get another quiet moment like this once the Raya chaos truly begins. So, if I don’t get a chance to post again, Selamat Hari Raya! Enjoy the food, cherish the family time, and try (unlike me) not to eat every single cookie in the jar! Bye everyone! 💕

My Little Knight in Training

Hi,

How’s everyone holding up? Raya is looming over us, and honestly, I’m checking the calendar like a student checking the clock during a Differential Equation final. Where did the time go?! 😅

I’m currently back in Jasin, soaking up family time before the main event. But here’s the plot twist, this year, Raya is going to look a little different. We’re trading our usual routine for a change of scenery at my brother’s place in Bangi. No drama, we just wanted to tukar angin and see what Raya in the city feels like. Wish us luck!

Amidst the Raya prep, my Little Boss turns 7 today!

L: Now vs. R: Then. 7 years later, the cuddle-to-space ratio has changed, but the love hasn't! 💕

In our house, we don’t do the whole big birthday party tradition. The kids know the drill, we will have intimate celebrations with just the family (and the favorite aunts/uncles who bring the best gifts, obviously).

Even though he’s officially a big boy, Adam is still 100% a Mommy’s Boy. This kid is a space-optimization expert. It doesn't matter how big the sofa is, he will find a way to sit on me. Every. Single. Time.

I’m soaking up every cuddle and every share space moment now, because I know the teenage lockdown is coming one day where he’ll be way too cool to be seen hugging Mom in public. For now? I’m enjoying being his favorite person.

Most people know him as Adam, but many ask why his name is Fahdi.

Years ago, while performing Tawaf alone, I prayed so hard for a baby boy. Why was I so determined to have a boy? Call it strategic planning! I wanted my own little guardian to look after me when I’m old and grey. Every Queen needs her knight, right? So, every time I passed the King Fahd gate in Masjidil Haram, the name just stuck. I wanted my own version of King Fahd. A protector.

I’ve explained this origin story to him multiple times, but he usually just looks at me with total confusion. To him, I’m still the one who protects him from the monsters under the bed. He has no idea that one day, he’ll be the one looking out for me. I hope one day he will get it.🛡️

So, happy 7th Birthday to my little King. I’ll keep doing the Mom thing to the best of my ability, and leave the rest to fate (and maybe a little bit of math). I know I can be a bit 'math-heavy' sometimes, but that’s just the teacher in me coming out. I promise you can decide math isn't your thing when you grow up, but while you’re under my roof, I’m going to be your favorite teacher. Just doing my best for you! ❤️

New Traditions, Same Love

Hi 

Another night, another round of being the Chief Safety Officer while the kids went wild with mercun and bunga api at Tokwan's. Even though we’re tucked away in a residential area and can’t exactly play the extreme ones, the kids didn’t care. Seeing their faces light up is worth the smoky hair and the mini heart attacks every time a sparkler gets too close to a car passing by! 😅

Flower pots to the rescue! Anything to get that pelita glow for Raya.

We’re down to the final two-weekend countdown to Eid, and this year, the script has been totally flipped. For the first time ever, my parents won't be celebrating Raya in Penang. Wait, what? No Penang?

Usually, my Dad is the busiest man in the state during Raya. As a barber, his phone basically becomes a 24/7 hotline. It’s on standby mode 100% of the time, and appointments fly in faster than we can eat ketupat. For him, Raya usually means No Rest for the Wicked (or the Talented).

This year, things are looking a little different. Dad’s currently in a season of recovery, and while his loyal customers are already calling to get that Raya look, he’s just not able to get back to the barber chair yet.

To keep his mind off the shop and focused on resting, we proposed a family intervention (the fun kind!). We convinced him to spend the final week of Ramadhan and Eid away from the usual hustle of Penang. And he likes it🎉

Changing plans at the eleventh hour has definitely kept us on our toes. We had to bid a sad farewell to our Early Bird ETS tickets that we snagged months ago. It’s okay, though the car is packed, we are ready to embrace the chaos.

Well, sometimes the unplanned plans are the ones that end up being the legendary ones. Wishing everyone a beautiful and peaceful remaining Ramadhan! 🌙✨

Calm in the Bonus Hour

Hi,

Tonight is weird. Good weird, but definitely weird.

Usually, my life between getting home and going to bed is a marathon. If there were a gold medal for Speed-Folding Laundry While Simultaneously Prepping Tomorrow’s Meal, I’d be on the podium every night. Normally, I don’t hit a horizontal position until 11:00 PM. That’s my personal best. My 'Mom vs. The World' routine is a finely tuned machine. If I don't prep everything at night, the next morning is basically a disaster movie.

But tonight? I finished everything one hour early. I’m standing in a clean kitchen, looking around like a confused sim who just had their task queue cleared. Since I have this rare bonus hour, I decided it was time for some self-care. But how? Okay, I found it.

Nothing beats the bonus hour like the final, perfect bite of SilverQueen almond chocolate.😋

Finally I got the last piece of SilverQueen Almond chocolate I brought back from Surabaya months ago. I was planning to hoard it until my next trip to Indonesia, but tonight felt special. So, I ate it. No regrets. It was easily the best decision of my week. My mood? Instant 10/10.

Then, while loading the bags into the car, I checked on the full-moon (my favorite monthly ritual), and honestly? She’s being a bit shy tonight. Not as bright as usual, but still stunning. There’s just something about looking at the moon that acts like a reset button for my brain after a hectic week. Very calming.

Hello there pretty moon.

I sat there waiting for sleepiness to kick in, but it’s currently a no-show. I think the chocolate and the moon have teamed up to keep me awake. It might be the chocolate-induced sugar rush, or maybe just the pure shock of having free time. Either way, I’m just going to hang out with my own thoughts until my eyes get heavy.

To everyone else in the Mom Marathon or just grinding through your own daily race, I see you. May your chores be fast and your chocolate be hidden in the back of the pantry where no one else can find it.

Goodnight, world!🌜

A Taste of Home

Hi,

Can you believe we’re already ten days into Ramadhan? Just like that, a third of the month has disappeared. I spent my Saturday playing professional organizer in our book room, which was more like a paper jungle. I never realized how massive school books are these days. I managed to sort everything into three piles: Keep, Recycle, and Let Go. For the books that didn't quite fit anywhere, I just followed my heart (and my desire to see the floor again) and tossed them into a random pile.

The mini library is finally looking sharp, but I did notice the stationery section looks like a small retail shop. Honestly, it’s a survival tactic. You know how kids are. The second you tell them to dim the lights for bed, they suddenly have an 'emergency' need for a glue stick. To save my own sanity, I’ve started stocking up on the essentials like I’m preparing for a craft-based apocalypse. 😂

By 6 PM, we headed over to my parents' place for a sleepover. The second I walked in, the aroma gave it away: Cencaru Belah Belakang for buka puasa! It’s been ages since we’ve had it, especially with my Dad’s health lately. My sister stepped up to the plate and recreated his signature recipe. Luckily, it was my first off-day from fasting, so I got to be the official taste-tester for her experiment. Total success! It tasted exactly like Dad’s. 🎉

From craving this in a tiny kitchen abroad to enjoying it at my parents' table. There’s no recipe quite like Dad’s, and no company quite like family. ❤️

To balance out the spicy sambal, Mom whipped up a giant container of her classic cekodok pisang. It’s the old-school kind, heavy on the ripe bananas, light on the flour, and 100% addictive. We polished off the entire batch in one sitting. 

The classic way is the only way. Tiny enough to pop in your mouth, dark brown for that caramelized flavor, crispy skin, and a soft heart. Serve 'em hot and watch the whole container disappear!

Although it wasn’t a fancy five-course meal, but it was absolutely perfect and soul-filling. Now, I’m looking forward to a relaxed Sunday with the family.

Catch you later!

The Support System

Hi,

Happy Friday! It’s 7:05 AM, and while the rest of the world is probably hitting snooze for the third time, I’m reporting live from Penang General Hospital. My mission started at 6:30 AM sharp. By 7:00 AM, the queue finally moved, and I reached the finish line at 7:02 AM to drop the appointment card into the box. Yes, a physical box!

Spot a box at the middle of the counter

In a world of AI and flying drones, we are still playing the drop the card in the slot game. It’s very vintage, very 1990s chic. Even with my early morning sprinting, I only secured Number 12 in the run. For government hospitals, being Number 12 is basically winning a bronze medal. I’ll take it!

I’m here this early because a doctor friend gave me the golden rule, get there early, or prepare to move in and pay rent in the waiting room. I’d do anything to make sure my parents don't have to endure a five-hour wait, so the early morning cardio is a small price to pay for their comfort. Hopefully, we can settle everything quickly today. (Update: Yes, they did. All done by noon)

The best part of this madness is that Dad is absolutely crushing his recovery. He has gone from being unable to sit up to taking baby steps with support. Between three Physio sessions, two Occupational Therapy sessions, and Rehab every two weeks, he is basically in athlete training mode. They say the first three months after a stroke are the golden period, and I can officially confirm that’s a fact. He’s gaining his life back, one shaky step at a time.

If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the real secret to recovery is the support system. In the beginning, they feel completely helpless, and the truth is, they are. They need us to be their legs, their memory, and their loudest cheerleaders. If we don’t give up on them, they won't give up on themselves. We have to be the strength they don't have yet.

I've made it back to the unit by 9.00 AM, safely tucked away from the hospital hustle. I am going up to the rooftop to check on what's there at the place I'm staying. Then, I'm going to do a bit of quick packing and organizing before I head off to work to start my official day. 

The perfect home base for a quick Penang adventure.

Penang skyline from the roof top.

It’s been a whirlwind morning, but seeing that progress makes every early sprint worth it. Time to shift gears and get to the office! See you again next time. Bye!

My Much-Needed Break

Hi,

Another greetings from Jasin! 🌙

We’ve officially survived Day 1 of Ramadhan, and honestly, everyone is holding up surprisingly well.

The biggest plot twist? Adam. This is his first time fasting, and if you know Adam, you know he’s basically a high-speed food processor. On normal days, he wakes up super early and immediately demands a full menu. I was bracing myself for a very long, very hungry day.

But little did I know, the boss had mentally prepared himself! As a mom, I kept giving him the option, telling him it’s okay to eat if it gets too tough, but he powered through like a pro. Watching him complete his first day with such ease was such a huge relief. One down, twenty-nine to go!

On a personal note, I haven't had a decent rest in months, but being back here has been the ultimate reset button. I’ve successfully ditched work to focus on me. I’m sleeping well, I’m eating well, the kids are happy, and for once, my brain isn’t running a marathon of to-do lists. I know reality is waiting for me back home, but for now, I’m soaking up every bit of this kampung peace.

Oh, and the best part? The unlimited baby snuggling. My two are great, but they’ve lost that new baby smell years ago. Luckily, the family here is still actively producing new ones, so my cravings are fully satisfied. I love handling them, but let’s be real, I’m too old to be starting that engine again for myself. So, I’ll just happily borrow someone else's.

Serious question. Are they for sale? No? Okay, fine. 😂

That’s the update from the kampung for now. I’ve got one more day of bliss before we head back to Penang early Saturday morning.

Happy fasting, everyone! Bye!

Grace and Grit

Hi,

Hello from Jasin, Melaka! I’m here celebrating CNY with my mother-in-law’s side of the family this year. As she is half-Chinese, I’m learning so much about everything from the food to the local traditions each time during CNY celebration.

During my confinement, when my own mother was still working, my mother-in-law was the one who took care of me. She cared for me and my new-borns for weeks, until I was strong enough to manage on my own. She prepared the most delicious, nourishing Chinese dishes for my recovery, treating me and my babies with the same love and tenderness as if we were her own.

One for the memories. Mak and two of her chinesey daughters-in-law. 😄

And let me tell you, she's also the woman who's never afraid to tell you your outfit looks like a fashion crime scene. Seriously, she's brutally honest. Like, 'Umm, those prints? On those prints? You look like a walking optical illusion.' She's a firm believer in women being confident by being presentable, which, in her world, means no prints on prints. Ever. 'You'll look messy,' she'll declare, with the conviction of a seasoned fashion judge. And we, her daughters and daughters-in-law, just nod and go, 'Okay, Mak.' Haha. 😂

But you know what? We love her for it. Because behind the 'fashion police' persona is a heart of gold. She's taught us to take pride in ourselves, to stand tall, and to maybe, just maybe, avoid wearing that floral-zebra combo we thought was 'edgy.' And for that, and for everything else, she'll always be someone I deeply admire.

She's shown me what it means to be strong, kind, and patient, and those are lessons I'll carry with me always.  Life is unpredictable, but one thing I'm certain of is my unwavering respect for her. She's taught me so much about life, and no matter what happens, she'll always be someone I look up to. 💕

Academic Outtakes

Hi,

I know, I’ve been a total ghost on the blog lately, but I haven't disappeared. I’ve just been buried! If you’re looking for me, you’ll find me living inside a fortress of exam scripts. It’s my new home for now, where the rent is free but the decor is a bit stressful.💆I’ve had to prioritize the big stuff first, and right now, my life is all about the final exam marking. 

I’ve been living among these piles for so many consecutive days that I’m starting to forget what a clean desk looks like. This entire weekend is dedicated to finalizing the EW and grades for my MAT223 students, all need to finish before I officially run away for the Chinese New Year break. 

In between the marking madness, I’ve also been squeezing in viva voce sessions for my PhD students. Life has felt extra complicated lately because I currently have three students scheduled for their vivas and another two who are about to submit their final drafts. It’s a lot of plates to spin at once, but I’m not complaining. These are the responsibilities I signed up for, and seeing them reach the finish line is a huge part of why I do what I do. 

After months of hard work, the result is finally in. Congratulations to Tariq Azzam for a successful viva-voce defense!

Still, I’ll admit that the academic life can feel pretty lonely sometimes. You have a mountain of tasks, but you don't actually communicate much with the outside world. You just stay in your nest, doing your thing, only popping out for meetings before scurrying back into the shadows to continue the never-ending to-do list. I’ve actually had to start forcing myself to go for 15-minute walks around the building just to prove to my body that sunlight still exists.

However, I had a major breakthrough today! I actually broke out of the office to join my colleagues for a quick lunch break. Getting a group of busy academics together is harder than solving a complex differential equation, but we finally made it happen. It was a massive all-in-one celebration. A farewell for Kak Shidah who is retiring soon, an early Chinese New Year luncheon, a warm welcome for the upcoming Ramadhan, and a 'we made it' party for the end of the semester. 💃

My multiracial colleagues and I all agreed on Arabic food for lunch today. Isn't that the perfect picture of harmony? 😊

Celebrating our soon-to-be retiree, Kak Shidah (the one in the middle). We’re going to miss her so much. 💐

Quick lunch, big occasion. It takes something special to get us all away from our desks at once.

Even though it was short, it was such a refreshing catch-up. For once, we didn't talk about work. Usually, seeing colleagues means discussing syllabus changes or meetings, but today we just talked freely as friends.

It was a great reminder that I need to pay a bit more attention to my own well-being. I need to get back into a routine that keeps my sanity intact, but for now, I’m feeling much more human. That’s my life in a nutshell lately. Looking forward to better days ahead! Happy weekend, everyone! 💕

Post-Winter Blues

Hi,

It’s the weekend again, and I’ve found my way back to my parents' house. The place suddenly feels so alive having the kids around. It’s chaotic, but seeing my dad so happy makes it all worth it. It’s hard to believe that exactly one month has passed since my winter wonderland trip to Northeast China. Time flew by so fast that I only just realized I still haven't finished unpacking my winter wear! I really need to get organized, store them properly in vacuum bags, and toss in some silica gel to keep the fabric in top condition.

I’m actually still wearing the same winter jacket from my days living in Australia, which is a minor miracle. First of all, thank God I haven't expanded sideways so much that I can’t fit into a seventeen-year-old coat anymore. Secondly, because I’ve taken such good care of it, it still looks brand new. Quality winter gear is an investment, so I’m determined to make sure the money I spent back then was worth it. If I’m lucky, I’ll still be zipping this same jacket up ten or twenty years from now!

Zhongyang Street after dark. They say some things and some people only get better with age. Looking at my winter gear, I’d have to agree.😉

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day of mom duties. We’re starting early with a paediatrician appointment at Pantai Hospital Sungai Petani, followed by a trip to the bookstore to restock the kids' reading materials. We’ll finally wrap things up with a grocery run, which is always an adventure with the little ones in tow.

It feels so good to finally sit down and find the time to write again. After a long week, it’s nice to just be still and reminisce about all the good things happening in my life. That’s it for tonight; I’m heading to bed to prepare for the marathon tomorrow. See you again next time. Goodnight! 💕