I am now officially a mom! :)

Assalamualaikum,

Hai everyone! Sorry for the long hiatus. Tapi mesti dah boleh agak kenapa kan? hehe. Well, as some of you might have expected, life I sekarang dah berubah hampir 50% sejak 7 Februari 2016. I am now officially a mother! The feeling is so surreal. Sampai hari ni macam tak berapa nak percaya lagi that I now have a baby and I can call myself a mom. Senyum sampai telinga. :)

I am not going to write out my labor story in details here, too long to be written I tell you. I will just cut the story short and cerita some important points that I would love to remember forever. To me, first pregnancy is somewhat very special sebab semua pengalaman adalah yang pertama. You never knew what to expect until you experience it yourself.

Okay, here it goes. My expected due date (EDD) was on 29th January 2016. Tapi sampai tarikh yang Dr bagi tu, nothing happen. Zero. None. I felt nothing, takde sebarang tanda nak bersalin sikit pun. Makin ligat berjalan lagi ada la. Maklumla, dah start cuti bersalin awal kan? hahaha. Hampir tiap-tiap hari I keluar pusing-pusing shopping malls with my husband. Adaaa je benda nak beli walaupun sikit.

I waited for another week, and on 5th of February 2016, hari Jumaat, sampai la masa untuk serah diri dekat Pantai Hospital Sungai Petani. Waktu tu, I dah masuk minggu yang ke-41. Masuk sepuluh bulan bawak perut. huhu. Orang tua-tua kata baby sayang sungguh nak tinggai perut mak dia. Tapi kan, I started to miss having my baby inside my tummy again. Serious ni, seronok sebenarnya bila ada kawan yang sentiasa melekat je dengan kita. :)

Bila dah masuk wad hari yang first tu, again, still takde tanda nak bersalin sikit pun. Takde turun darah, takde air ketuban pecah, baby sihat kat dalam perut. Enjoy duduk hospital makan tidoq sebab takde rasa sakit. Cuma sekali sekala rasa rasa minor contraction yang macam senggugut tu. Disebabkan I jenis yang senggugut teruk tiap-tiap bulan, so minor contraction felt like nothing to me.

I was very lucky sebab my gynae, Dr June jenis orang yang support natural birth. Dia bagi I chance sampai 3 hari lagi walaupun waktu tu I dah memang overdue. Yang penting, both mom and baby must be in good condition. Alhamdulillah sepanjang 3 hari tu, Dr sentiasa monitor CTG baby, selagi semua okay, she will not opt for caesarian. Dr pesan I kena walking marathon for easy delivery. So I heret Am teman I jalan-jalan pusing hospital naik turun tangga almost every day and night. :P

Gambar paling gemok seumur hidup. I hetchiuuuu water retention!
Tapi ada hati lagi berjalan sambil makan ice-cream. hahaha. :p

Masuk petang hari ke-3 (hari terakhir, otherwise kena operation), I started to feel frequent contraction. Tapi still relax, boleh tahan lagi siap turun café petang tu dalam pukul 4 pm makan donat gebu dengan cucoq udang. hahaha. Kalau tengokkan gaya, memang takdak tanda nak bersalin lagi pun time tu.

Dalam hati dah nervous dah, kalau sampai malam ni tak bersalin, esok Dr cakap terpaksa operate sebab she cannot let the baby too long inside the womb, takut ada complication sebab dah lama sangat. I doa banyak-banyak dalam hati mintak la Allah mudahkan semua time tu. Normal ka, operation ka, I tak kisah dah, yang penting selamat.

Lepas makan, I jalan-jalan lagi naik turun tangga, then masuk bilik dalam pukul 5 pm. Masa tu dah mula rasa sakit. I solat Asar pun sambil duduk je. Lepas tu Dr June datang to check my opening, surprisingly I was 2cm dilated that time. Wow, pagi tu takdak tanda opening langsung, tengok-tengok petang tu dah 2cm. I was so happy and nervous at the same time. Ada harapan I boleh bersalin secara normal malam tu or esok paginya. Allah betol-betol dengar doa I. :)

Lepas je Dr balik, dalam pukul 6 pm, the contraction started to become more frequent, and stronger. Sampai hari ni I tak boleh nak describe macam mana rasa dia. Tapi memang sakit. Semua benda rasa tak kena. Baring salah, duduk salah, I siap muntah lagi. huhuhu. Dalam pukul 7 pm macam tu, I cakap dekat nurse I dah mula rasa sakit sangat, tapi waktu tu baru 4cm dilated. Nurse akan bawak masuk labor room only when I am 6cm dilated.

Tapi nurse dah siap bagi ubat untuk buang air to prepare me for delivery. I ingat lama lagi la nak tunggu sampai 6cm. Tapi rupanya setengah jam lepas tu nurse check lagi, and bagitau I dah boleh masuk labor room. Masa tu, the pain was unbearable. Rasa macam tak mampu je nak tunggu sampai 10 cm. I had no idea that the labor could be that fast. I kept telling myself that the time has come and I finally can see my daughter after 10 months.

I tak sedar pun bila opening jadi 8cm or 10 cm, I cuma tau yang the pain was so intense I barely could speak. I tak keluar sepatah perkataan pun, cuma mampu selawat and baca doa Nabi Yunus dalam hati je. Am ada dengan I sepanjang masa dalam labor room tu, I remembered he talked to me and tried to calm me down, tapi I tengok je muka dia, tak terdaya nak respond pun.

Dr offered me to take the calming gas, tapi yang tu pun I terlupa nak ambik. hahaha. Padahal sakit gila masa tu, I cuma mampu doa dalam hati je. Semua orang cakap, kalau tak sakit, bukan nama bersalin, so I was mentally prepared for that. I told myself, tak kira sakit macam mana pun, I mesti kena tahan, InsyaAllah, the baby will come out bila sampai masa.

Sepanjang dalam labor room, I ikut je semua arahan Dr, when to breath, when to push, when to hold and the process were repeated. Dr June and her team was very very helpful, I think I couldn't make it through without their help. And my husband too. He was there all the time, giving me his full support and witnessing the birth of our daughter. After a few trials (pushing and breathing were really not easy, phewwww), Alhamdulillah, tepat pukul 10.18 pm, my daughter safely made her debut into this world.

We were discharged on the next day.
Thank you for the hospitality Pantai Hospital Sungai Petani.

So, that's basically about it. Thank you Allah the Almighty for making my delivery fast and easy. Sakit of course la tak boleh nak elak, tapi semuanya dimudahkan. Bila nurse bagi I peluk anak sendiri for the first time right after the delivery, semua sakit yang teramat sangat tu hilang macam tu je. Semua orang mesti rasa benda yang sama jugak kan. That's how powerful a woman is. :)

That's my gynae, Dr June. If you are looking for an O&G specialist, I would totally recommend her!
Very professional and she made me feel like giving birth is nothing, but beautiful. :)

InsyaAllah nanti kalau ada masa I update lagi tentang perkembangan I and my little family. Well, I am pretty sure that my writings after this are going to evolve around parenting and work. Well, nama pun virtual diary kan. Apa yang berlaku di sekeliling waktu tu la yang kita akan record kan. So, till I see you next time lovelies. Bye bye! :)

ALLAH sebaik-baik pemberi rezeki

Assalamualaikum,

Hari ni hati terdetik nak kongsi kegembiraan dengan my loyal blog readers. I am not sure whether or not to publish this entry, but if you happen to read this one day, it means that everything went well according to Allah's plan, and I am all ready to share the good news with you, my lovely virtual friends. :)

Alhamdulillah, up to this date, I am 6 weeks pregnant today (3rd June 2015). The waiting game has finally come to the end. After trying to conceive (TTC) for more than two years (26 months to be exact), akhirnya sampai jugak masa yang Allah dah tetapkan dan Dia akhirnya tiupkan rezeki yang paling berharga dalam hidup kami suami isteri.

For those who were easily got pregnant after you get married, you might not really understand how does the pressure of getting pregnant is taking on us (the TTCians). Hanya yang dah lalui je akan faham perasaan tu. Juggling in between the desire to become a mother and to accept the fact that Allah has better plan is really not easy, I tell you.

At the early stage of my marriage, tiap-tiap bulan I rasa macam satu permainan. Dan setiap kali red aunty datang melawat tu la I terpaksa pujuk diri sendiri, telling myself that this is not the time yet, and the time will definitely come one day. It usually takes me a few days to get better, and continue my life as nothing had happened.

If you want to talk about how much effort we have put in order to get us only one baby, trust me, you will never believe how much money we had spent in indulging ourselves with supplements, medical check-ups, alternative medicines, good and healthy (and expensive) foods, you just name it, semua dah try. But we plan, He plans, and indeed, he is the best of planners.

After one year, kitorang rasa makin selesa hidup berdua and tak letak harapan tinggi sangat dah setiap bulan. Tapi yang pastinya, doa tak pernah putus, semoga Allah sentiasa bukak pintu rezeki kami, bukan dalam bentuk anak saja, tapi dalam segala segi. He listens to all our prayers, and started granting us with rezeki in different methods, one after another. 

And at the same time, usaha kami untuk memperbaiki diri tak pernah putus. I amalkan cara hidup sihat, makan benda-benda sihat, makan supplements, pergi berurut and macam-macam lagi la. Until one day, the scheduled period is late for almost two weeks, and I started to feel some unusual changes to my body, then one fine morning I decided to do pregnancy test right before Subuh prayer.

Anddddd the result is beyond my expectation. Faham tak perasaan nak check, tapi takde perasaan nak tau result tu macam mana? I kept telling myself that it is okay if the result is negative, boleh pergi jumpa Dr and discuss kalau-kalau ada problem ke tak. But the result is actually the other way around. Double lines clearly displayed on the test stick. I was amazed. Woww, the stick is telling me that I am pregnant. :)

I macam takut-takut lagi nak bagitau husband. Percaya tak percaya la orang kata. Kitorang solat subuh sama-sama, and he wanted to take a short nap after that. I pun bangun buat kerja lain, mandi, solat dhuha, and solat syukur, and kejutkan husband untuk siap-siap nak keluar lepas tu. Time tu jugak I tunjuk the test stick, he smiled and hugged me. Allah tau banyak mana kami usaha, and He finally answered our prayers. The feeling was beautiful, very beautiful.


p/s: I have been keeping this entry in the draft for quite a long time, and today, sempena tahun baru, I am ready to let this entry out. What I am trying to deliver here is that, especially to my fellow TTCians, jangan pernah berhenti usaha dan doa. Allah saja yang boleh bagi jawapan tentang bila dan apa yang Dia nak anugerahkan kita sebagai rezeki. I can never be any more grateful, and verily, His plan is definitely the best. :)

Goodbye 2015. You have been great!

Assalamualaikum,

Ehem ehem.. Lamanya tak menulis. I am not going to blame the time as what I normally do. Banyak je masa yang boleh curi-curi sebenarnya, cuma mood menulis tu yang tak sampai. However, as the year is approaching the end, I feel like writing something out sebagai kenangan untuk hari terakhir tahun ni. Well, to sum up everything, 2015 has been really beautiful to me. It was very very beautiful I couldn't really describe every single thing in words properly.

Tahun 2015 adalah tahun yang sangat bermakna sepanjang hidup I di muka bumi ni. Allah swt has granted me with so many beautiful things one after another, but the most significant two are my work as a young lecturer in USM and new experience as an expecting mother.

Yes, I am expecting my very first child in 4 weeks time. I have been keeping this to myself since forever. Hanya sedara mara terdekat atau kawan-kawan yang pernah terserempak je yang tau about the change in me, physically obviously. Tapi bila dah semakin dekat dengan delivery date, I think I will need extra doa from the others as well.

InsyaAllah kalau tak ada apa-apa aral, I dijadualkan bersalin penghujung bulan Januari 2016. What a nice way to start my new year, isn't it? And after almost 3 years of waiting very patiently, I dengan my husband kena betul-betul bersedia untuk menggalas tanggungjawab baru as a new parents. I know it's not going to be very smooth and easy, but I think we are ready. :)

This blog has been keeping my life journey since 6 years ago, and being pregnant is one of the most remarkable journey in my life. So I decided to commemorate a few photos that I would love to look at again and again when I get older later on. Sebenaqnya bila dah mula perubahan fizikal yang mendadak, memang takdak mood nak ambik gambaq pun with your bump showing off. Tapi ada a few yang I rasa patut simpan jadi kenangan, so I decided to keep them here. :)

My significant other.
Thank you for your patience and love in handling this cranky pregnant lady. :p

Almost 9-month pregnant. Looking hugeeeeee like a world globe.
T___T

Pregnant sisters. Our delivery dates are close to each other.

So, I think that's all from me for 2015. I don't expect myself to write more in 2016, but if I do, hopefully I boleh share banyak benda yang lebih bermanfaat untuk bacaan semua. Thank you for treating me well 2015, I am looking for more and more beautiful things next year. Till then people, see you next time. Bye bye! :*