Random thoughts on my PhD journey

Dear diary,

I just got back from a short meeting with Tim after a month of not having any eye-to-eye discussion. You know what, tiap-tiap kali buat preparation nak jumpe supervisor mesti gelabah nak mati. Rasa macam serba-serbi tak cukup. Malu tau kalau takde progress tiap-tiap kali nak meeting.

Tapi sebenarnya, tiap-tiap kali lepas keluar dari bilik supervisor, hati rasa tenang gila. Kebanyakan masalah yang I tangguh konon nak solve sendiri biasanya terjawab dengan mudah. Paling kurang pun nampak jalan macam mana nak selesaikan and I jadi lagi bersemangat nak siapkan task yang berikutnya. 

Sesiapa yang buat research mesti penah rasa situation yang kadang-kadang kita rasa ada masalah yang kita boleh selesaikan sendiri. So ambik masa berminggu-minggu cuba solve that tiny little thing. Padahal kalau buang sikit ego, banyak bertanya pendapat orang, benda simple tu dapat solve dalam masa yang singkat.

I had sleepless nights thinking of this

That situation always happen to me. Konon nak cuba buat dulu, sampai 2-3 minggu buat benda alah yang sama, last-last jammed otak tak bole nak proceed buat apa. Lepas tu bila pergi jumpa Tim, senang je sebenarnya nak buat, but with little experience that I have, that small problem became damn hard. Last-last menyesal kenape la tak pergi tanya awal-awal. haihhh.

After meeting.  Comelkan tulisan Tim.hehe.

I once had a chat with my colleague who is under the same supervision with Tim. He is an Arabic friend also doing his PhD in different area. He said, "If our supervisor is a Muslim, he will be the nicest and sincerest person in this world. Let us pray one day he will be given the light from Allah swt and end his life with Imaan."

Yes, his statement is very true indeed. I never had any complaint about my supervisor. Never! Baik atau buruknya perjalanan research ni, they are all from my own fault. Lalai, malas, mudah putus asa, buang masa, and a lot more, all the blames are on myself. Muhasabah.