ALLAH sebaik-baik pemberi rezeki

Assalamualaikum,

Hari ni hati terdetik nak kongsi kegembiraan dengan my loyal blog readers. I am not sure whether or not to publish this entry, but if you happen to read this one day, it means that everything went well according to Allah's plan, and I am all ready to share the good news with you, my lovely virtual friends. :)

Alhamdulillah, up to this date, I am 6 weeks pregnant today (3rd June 2015). The waiting game has finally come to the end. After trying to conceive (TTC) for more than two years (26 months to be exact), akhirnya sampai jugak masa yang Allah dah tetapkan dan Dia akhirnya tiupkan rezeki yang paling berharga dalam hidup kami suami isteri.

For those who were easily got pregnant after you get married, you might not really understand how does the pressure of getting pregnant is taking on us (the TTCians). Hanya yang dah lalui je akan faham perasaan tu. Juggling in between the desire to become a mother and to accept the fact that Allah has better plan is really not easy, I tell you.

At the early stage of my marriage, tiap-tiap bulan I rasa macam satu permainan. Dan setiap kali red aunty datang melawat tu la I terpaksa pujuk diri sendiri, telling myself that this is not the time yet, and the time will definitely come one day. It usually takes me a few days to get better, and continue my life as nothing had happened.

If you want to talk about how much effort we have put in order to get us only one baby, trust me, you will never believe how much money we had spent in indulging ourselves with supplements, medical check-ups, alternative medicines, good and healthy (and expensive) foods, you just name it, semua dah try. But we plan, He plans, and indeed, he is the best of planners.

After one year, kitorang rasa makin selesa hidup berdua and tak letak harapan tinggi sangat dah setiap bulan. Tapi yang pastinya, doa tak pernah putus, semoga Allah sentiasa bukak pintu rezeki kami, bukan dalam bentuk anak saja, tapi dalam segala segi. He listens to all our prayers, and started granting us with rezeki in different methods, one after another. 

And at the same time, usaha kami untuk memperbaiki diri tak pernah putus. I amalkan cara hidup sihat, makan benda-benda sihat, makan supplements, pergi berurut and macam-macam lagi la. Until one day, the scheduled period is late for almost two weeks, and I started to feel some unusual changes to my body, then one fine morning I decided to do pregnancy test right before Subuh prayer.

Anddddd the result is beyond my expectation. Faham tak perasaan nak check, tapi takde perasaan nak tau result tu macam mana? I kept telling myself that it is okay if the result is negative, boleh pergi jumpa Dr and discuss kalau-kalau ada problem ke tak. But the result is actually the other way around. Double lines clearly displayed on the test stick. I was amazed. Woww, the stick is telling me that I am pregnant. :)

I macam takut-takut lagi nak bagitau husband. Percaya tak percaya la orang kata. Kitorang solat subuh sama-sama, and he wanted to take a short nap after that. I pun bangun buat kerja lain, mandi, solat dhuha, and solat syukur, and kejutkan husband untuk siap-siap nak keluar lepas tu. Time tu jugak I tunjuk the test stick, he smiled and hugged me. Allah tau banyak mana kami usaha, and He finally answered our prayers. The feeling was beautiful, very beautiful.


p/s: I have been keeping this entry in the draft for quite a long time, and today, sempena tahun baru, I am ready to let this entry out. What I am trying to deliver here is that, especially to my fellow TTCians, jangan pernah berhenti usaha dan doa. Allah saja yang boleh bagi jawapan tentang bila dan apa yang Dia nak anugerahkan kita sebagai rezeki. I can never be any more grateful, and verily, His plan is definitely the best. :)